Friday, February 22, 2013

About the Person that is ME!

I am from a very little town in Florida. I have lived there my entire life. It has it's advantages of that small town closeness , but also it's disadvantages too. So anyway. I was married the first time when I was 19. Yep that is right I said the first time those with without screw ups cast the first stone. Anyone??? Ok so we were married and had a beautiful baby girl names Erica Michelle she just turned 15 a few weeks ago. Wow how time does fly by. Then we decided we were young and really didn't have the kind of relationship that we wanted so we decided to go our seperate ways. Then I married my second husband and we had another little girl names Melayna Frances she turned 9 last July and she is a brainiac a sponge she absorbs everything that she possibly can. Reads everything and researches even more. Her dad and I were married for almost 10 years things got tough financially and he decided that he didn't want to be married to me anymore. I will admit I took care of the money but you can't get blood from a turnip right? I hit rock bottom I felt like I was going to die and my life was over. I moved back in with my mom and dad and started working on getting back on my feet. Then I met my third husband what can I say I am a Jezebel. We have been married for a little over a year and have a 2 year old daughter named Zoe. She is so awesome and keeps me on my toes. In case you are wondering my marriage right now is good. We have our ups and downs and of course I have trust issues and have had boughts of depression. I love my husband and our blended family but sometimes the stress causes me to sulk and stuff my face. I have been going to counseling and it is helping me to overcome some of my issues and deal a little better with stress. I sound like a head case don't I? LOL well I assure you I have become a stronger person as I have muddled through all my mistakes in my life. I look back and think wow this is not where or what I intended to be when I started out but it is what it is. I can only go up from here. Hopefully I will make better and wiser choices from here on out.

Zoe 2 Years

Melayna 9 Years
Erica 15 Years

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Running on Empty

Just a quick note to say that today has not been as successful as I would have hoped.  I feel as if I am running on E! I just want to get that great jump start to be successful! I know that if I every get started I will make it and I WILL succeed.  What is it about us humans that cause us to analyze doubt and say we will start tomorrow.  I need some motivation to get started exercising and we eat horribly at home I am the only one that has a weight problem so maybe that is why no one else is really worried about it. Well I am on a quest for motivation and success.  I have been googling other peoples weight loss blogs and I feel so envious of their success and what is so stupid is I just have to DO IT!!! That is it no secret pill or code or formula just do it!! So stay tuned to see if I get on the motivation wagon or if I fall flat on my face in that procrastination mud puddle!  Happy Wednesday everyone!!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Another Year Older

Well yesterday was my birthday.  It was your typical birthday everyone texting and posting on facebook happy birthday!  My girls all wished me happy birthday and kissed me (which was the best gift ever!). My coworkers decorated my office and bought me a cake (which I took home) My husband fixed me dinner and then surprised me by giving me a gift certificate for a one hour massage (which is also awesome btw).  Then in one quick moment I realized...... Crap I am too FAT to get a massage.  The masseuse will be feeling all my rolls and fat .  Ugh that just sounds disgusting so then I thought well what am I going to do about it?  Well the only thing I knew to do was to lose some weight to feel a little better about getting this massage.  I looked on the gift certificate and it says it expires 05/01/13.  Ok so that gives me approximately two months to lose some weight!!!! Yikes so I decided it is got to be done because I  AM getting that massage!!! So I declared starting on Wednesday (I had a few pieces of birthday cake to finish )  that I would start my diet to become massage friendly! So I decided that I am going to try Visalus.  Have any of you ever heard or seen this?  I have tried the shakes and believe it or not they are yummy! You replace two meals a day with shakes and have a reasonable dinner but this also means EXERCISE!!! I hate exercise with a passion!!! I just don't seem to have time for it either but if I am going to get massage friendly I am going to have to bite the bullet and just DO IT!! So if you want to see how things go stay tuned and find out how my journey goes to lose weight and become a massage friendly person!!! BTW does anyone know If the Shoe Fits......Then What?????

Thursday, February 14, 2013

New day, New me!

Well here I am just on a whim I decide that I wanted to blog.  Crazy right!?! Despite the fact that I know nothing about blogging and only know about rambling here I am giving it a shot.  I need to do some self improvement and enlightenment. I need to lose weight, gain some self confidence, spend more time with my kids and in general become more happy with me.  After all I have to live with myself every minute of the day.  Why should I not like me.  So just a brief background of myself. I am married with 3 beautiful girls.  That is right I said it 3 girls!!! That means whining, fighting and no bathroom time.  Alas I wouldn't have it any other way.  My girls names are Erica (15), Melayna (9) and Zoe (2).  They are the loves of my life.  My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and we have a lot of work to do.  I never thought having a blended family would be so hard but man it is like trying to nail jello to the wall sometimes its messy and seems like it is never going to work. Out of the bad times however there are some good fun times.  So today I am making a commitment to myself for self improvement.  To start diet and exercise and work on me a little bit.  So If the Shoe fits.........then what?!? Stay tuned to find out!!!